The Real Reason Nacho Libre Became a Luchador

In the movie Nacho Libre, a chubby orphan named Chancho catches Nacho dressed up in a blue and red spandex wrestling costume. Nacho offers the boy this explanation, “When you are a man, sometimes you wear stretchy pants in your room. It's for fun.”

But I don’t buy it.

Throughout the movie, Nacho puts on a good show. He pretends he really likes wrestling and dressing up in capes and masks. He even endures the ostracism of his peers, claiming he wants just a “little taste of the glory.”

But here’s the truth. Nacho didn’t actually care a thing about wrestling. The reality is Nacho was, in fact, six months pregnant and only decided to become “un Luchador” so that he’d have an excuse to wear stretchy pants every day.

Nacho is my inspiration. Because of his dedication to comfort, I’ve decided to quit my job at Express and become a professional Luchador. Not only will my new career allow me to work flexible hours, but the best part is I’ll get to wear stretchy pants every day. No more pantyhose and skirt suits for me! It’s nothin’ but lycra all day, every day. That’s what I’m talkin’ ‘bout.

Okay, okay. So, maybe I’m not going to become a Luchador. I mean I’m not particularly buff or nimble, and I really don’t want any aggressive dwarf twins busting chairs over my noggin. On top of that, health insurance is pretty essential for me right now, and I’m not convinced the wrestling scene offers the best plans.

Since I can’t achieve my “dream” of pro-wrestling and wearing stretchy pants to work every day, I’m going for the next best thing. I’m moving into maternity britches. Starting el pronto loco. Today at lunch, I went to Target and purchased my first pair of big girl jeans. They have a lovely four-inch spandex waistband which officially qualifies as wearing “stretching pants.”

And though I’m not converting to the life of a Luchador just yet, if you happen to startle me in my room sometime in the next 16 weeks, and I’m wearing a brightly colored spandex leotard, tights and a cape, I might just offer this explanation, “When you are a pregnant woman, sometimes you wear stretchy pants in your room. It's for comfort.”