Seriously, Who Just Punched Me?

This morning in my department’s staff meeting, someone punched me in the gut. It came out of nowhere, right in the middle of my boss talking. I let out a yelp and looked around the table to see which of my colleagues had shoved their fist into my expanding belly. Was it James the intern? Shannon the new girl? Or maybe my boss Sean?

In case you're wondering, it definetly was not the little man on the inside. This was no tiny 26-week-old fist, but a "whamo, you wanna start sumpin' wit me" kind of punch.

Examining my co-workers' faces, I saw no signs of guilt or animosity, just curiosity over my sudden outburst. If one of them hadn’t just pulled a ninja move, had the table suddenly jumped to life and whacked me?

It was during this reverie that I remembered I’d recently been diagnosed with P.B.P.S. The condition is fairly common among certain populations, but, in case you’re unfamiliar with it, P.B.P.S. is what scientists refer to as Phantom Belly Punching Syndrome.

I started experiencing the symptoms about a month ago. I’d make a quick movement and all of a sudden, I’d have the sensation that someone had just karate chopped me in the mid-section.

Apparently, P.B.P.S. is related to the fact that my abdominal muscles are stretched as thin as spaghetti noodles, causing them to occasionally separate and pop. The noticeable side effects of this condition are yelping at inappropriate times and suspecting others of covertly attacking me.

In other pregnancy news, I passed my gestational diabetes test. Woo hoo! I’ll gladly take P.B.P.S. over diabetes.