My Speech from Last Week

I thought I'd give an update about how my speech went last week: fantastic! The crowd loved me. Since my speech was so impressive, I thought I'd copy it below so you too could experience the wonder and awe.

BLOOD ALONE MOVES THE WHEELS OF HISTORY! Have you ever asked yourselves in an hour of meditation - which everyone finds during the day - how long we have been striving for greatness? Not only the years we've been at war – the war of work – but from the moment as a child, when we realize the world could be conquered. It has been a lifetime struggle a never-ending fight, I say to you and you will understand that it is a privilege to fight. WE ARE WARRIORS! Salesmen of north-eastern Pennsylvania, I ask you once more rise and be worthy of this historical hour. No revolution is worth anything unless it can defend itself. Some people will tell you salesman is a bad word. They’ll conjure up images of used car dealers, and door to door charlatans. This is our duty to change their perception. I say, salesmen – and women – of the world... unite. We must never acquiesce, for it is together... TOGETHER THAT WE PREVAIL. WE MUST NEVER CEDE CONTROL OF THE MOTHERLAND...

Er, maybe that was actually Dwight Schrute's acceptance speech when he won the salesperson of the year award. Oh well, you get the general idea.